Ending Your Own Life
Suicide
It's amazing that while listening to the car radio while driving, I remember hearing a preacher say, "your life isn't yours to take." And he proceeded to explain a little bit on why that is so.
I thought nothing of it at the time. And the explanation he gave, in itself is not really something that would make one sit up and listen anyway. Not to me at least.
Totally Random
And why would I? It was just a random phrase from a random person, broadcasting on the air at a random time, which of course, I randomly happen to be tuning into and was able to hear it. It's amazing that I even had the radio on.
I haven't realize it yet, but I was most probably destined to hear him say that. And I do not even know his name.
Because you see just a few minutes earlier I got into a big argument with somebody very dear to me. And I was just driving like my mind was wandering else where, (which of course wasn't safe at all). And I was really in no mood to listen about something that is lecturing me about not killing myself, as if I would ever not do that -- not in a million years.
Voice Inside My Head Telling Me To Kill Myself
Anyway, to make a long story short, about 30 minutes later, inside my head I started hearing about a suggestion to end my own life. I mean it was weird. I have never in my life, ever heard anything like that.
I was at the time, actually debating (with myself) about the merits of killing myself and the "voice" inside my head kept on feeding my mind about the "good" things about ending it all.
I mean, there was "you wouldn't have to deal with those people anymore".
There was, "you'll see, they will finally see how you will be missed, for the good in you and in the things you do for others".
There was, "you do not need this".
And there was this and that and much more. And if I really haven't been at least half myself, I probably could have done what my mind was telling me to do.
Light Switch
But then, there was like a switch inside my head that turned all this off and I asked myself, what was that all about. Killing myself will actually be the most cowardly thing if not the easiest way out I could ever do.
I then thought about people who have committed or attempted suicide or have at least contemplated suicide.
All of sudden, I now have a deeper understanding on how they could have done what they have done, and I found myself actually being really sad and overwhelmed about how they were pushed into what they thought was the "right" thing to do.
I get them now. *(read the "preaching" part at the bottom if you need to).
And you see that is why I am typing this post right now, I do not want to wait a single minute to have this not out there or I might totally forget about what I wanted to write (which I normally do), because I too know, that like that radio preacher I heard talking about why one shouldn't take one's life -- I too need to write this story (my story) down because somebody out there, you for instance, or somebody you personally know or dear to you, who you shared this with, needs to read this.Nothing really happens by accident. And no, ending your life will not solve your problem.
*(Biblical insight) You see, if there was a God up there and He needed for us to know that He can totally understand us (and the things we go through), we have to know that He really do understand and that He also went through the same things we are going through. And then He would understand us, and understand how we feel and why we do the things that we do.
And you guessed it, He did that.
He sent His Son to be physically born (flesh and blood) born by humble means and grew up in a simple life, and went through the normal everyday things that you and I go through, and much more -- oh, so much more.
And He gave up the ultimate thing, His own life, by the will of our Father in heaven, so that we do not have to go through it ourselves. He has already paid the price, we do not have to pay it again. He suffered and He died in our place.
Photo Credit: LettersFromLaunna.com
It's amazing that while listening to the car radio while driving, I remember hearing a preacher say, "your life isn't yours to take." And he proceeded to explain a little bit on why that is so.
I thought nothing of it at the time. And the explanation he gave, in itself is not really something that would make one sit up and listen anyway. Not to me at least.
Totally Random
And why would I? It was just a random phrase from a random person, broadcasting on the air at a random time, which of course, I randomly happen to be tuning into and was able to hear it. It's amazing that I even had the radio on.
I haven't realize it yet, but I was most probably destined to hear him say that. And I do not even know his name.
Because you see just a few minutes earlier I got into a big argument with somebody very dear to me. And I was just driving like my mind was wandering else where, (which of course wasn't safe at all). And I was really in no mood to listen about something that is lecturing me about not killing myself, as if I would ever not do that -- not in a million years.
Voice Inside My Head Telling Me To Kill Myself
Anyway, to make a long story short, about 30 minutes later, inside my head I started hearing about a suggestion to end my own life. I mean it was weird. I have never in my life, ever heard anything like that.
I was at the time, actually debating (with myself) about the merits of killing myself and the "voice" inside my head kept on feeding my mind about the "good" things about ending it all.
I mean, there was "you wouldn't have to deal with those people anymore".
There was, "you'll see, they will finally see how you will be missed, for the good in you and in the things you do for others".
There was, "you do not need this".
And there was this and that and much more. And if I really haven't been at least half myself, I probably could have done what my mind was telling me to do.
Light Switch
But then, there was like a switch inside my head that turned all this off and I asked myself, what was that all about. Killing myself will actually be the most cowardly thing if not the easiest way out I could ever do.I then thought about people who have committed or attempted suicide or have at least contemplated suicide.
All of sudden, I now have a deeper understanding on how they could have done what they have done, and I found myself actually being really sad and overwhelmed about how they were pushed into what they thought was the "right" thing to do.
I get them now. *(read the "preaching" part at the bottom if you need to).
And you see that is why I am typing this post right now, I do not want to wait a single minute to have this not out there or I might totally forget about what I wanted to write (which I normally do), because I too know, that like that radio preacher I heard talking about why one shouldn't take one's life -- I too need to write this story (my story) down because somebody out there, you for instance, or somebody you personally know or dear to you, who you shared this with, needs to read this.Nothing really happens by accident. And no, ending your life will not solve your problem.
*(Biblical insight) You see, if there was a God up there and He needed for us to know that He can totally understand us (and the things we go through), we have to know that He really do understand and that He also went through the same things we are going through. And then He would understand us, and understand how we feel and why we do the things that we do.
And you guessed it, He did that.
He sent His Son to be physically born (flesh and blood) born by humble means and grew up in a simple life, and went through the normal everyday things that you and I go through, and much more -- oh, so much more.
And He gave up the ultimate thing, His own life, by the will of our Father in heaven, so that we do not have to go through it ourselves. He has already paid the price, we do not have to pay it again. He suffered and He died in our place.
Photo Credit: LettersFromLaunna.com
Comments
Post a Comment